TL;DR – Challenging environments, such as demolition sites, create tough mentalities which make it difficult for individuals to make space for self-care; even evoking a sense of shame if time is taken for wellness.
What would you say to someone who has told you that they have been struggling? Chances are that you would be supportive. Most people are – you may not always know the right answers but the willingness to listen is a great step towards helping.
However, working in demolition, it may feel unapproachable to start that conversation if you are the one struggling. The stereotype of being ‘hardened’ and ‘macho’ keeps many from speaking up, despite the resources and systems in place. The idea that looking after yourself is weak is outdated and dangerous. That’s why we must challenge these mentalities.
The Shame in Self-Care
It can be confusing why someone would be unwilling to talk about the problems they are facing or take the time to take care of themselves, despite the support available. For some, independence and not wanting to burden someone else with personal issues creates a barrier to accessing help.
Different people have different reasons but ultimately, there is a sense of shame in self-care where there should not be.
This shame can appear in different ways:
- Lethargy
- Quietness or joking instead of talking
- Hiding stress
- Avoiding calling in sick
These behaviours are can often be wrapped up in site banter, a pride in toughness and a culture where admitting you are struggling can feel like admitting weakness. Wellness encompasses sleep, rest, relationships, stress, and how we recover from the demands of the job.
Why is this mentality harmful?
This mindset affects how people feel, work, how they stay safe, and whether they stay in the industry at all.
Construction and trades have higher rates of distress and suicide than many other sectors. Chronic stress, poor sleep, burnout and increased alcohol use are common, and many skilled people leave the industry earlier than they planned because the pressure becomes unsustainable.
There is also a direct safety impact. Tired, stressed and distracted workers are more likely to make mistakes, miss hazards or take shortcuts. In demolition, the consequences of an error can be severe, so wellness is an important factor in keeping everyone safe on site.
The Challenges of Overcoming Shame
Changing this culture is not simple. For many, talking about feelings has long equated with weakness. There is a real fear that being open about struggles could damage career prospects, reputation or relationships with colleagues and managers.
In too many organisations, policies and messages are unclear. Over half of construction organisations lack formal mental health or wellness policies, which sends an implicit message that this is not a priority. Even where support exists, people often do not know how to start the conversation, what to say, or who to speak to first.
All of this makes it easier to stay silent, even when things are becoming unmanageable.
How We Can Overcome the Challenges + the Goal
Overcoming the shame in self-care is about changing both individual behaviours and the wider environment.
- Normalise conversations. Taking the time to listen when asking how someone is doing, and being active in the conversation allows individuals to feel heard and that someone cares.
- Leadership modelling. When foremen, managers and directors speak openly about stress, rest and boundaries, it becomes safer for others to do the same.
- Visible support. Posters, toolbox talks and clear signposting to services such as Lighthouse, Andy’s Man Club and the NFDC Mental Health Hub remind people that help exists and is acceptable to use.
- Policies and training. Clear sickness policies that include mental health and wellness, mental health awareness training, and peer support schemes show that the business takes this seriously.
Creating a supportive environment, shows that looking after yourself is part of being a good operative, a good colleague and a good leader.
Conclusion
Shame should not hold us back from caring for ourselves. Wellness matters for the entire team, the safety of the site and most importantly for the individual. Speaking about our problems is a sign of strength to be vulnerable and be part of keeping the people around you safe.
If you are struggling, or if you notice changes in a colleague, reaching out is a strong and responsible thing to do. The industry needs skilled, experienced people and that includes people who are well enough to stay in it.
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Originally published Aug 21, 2026 9:26:33 AM, updated August 21 2026.
